Killing the Red God

A serialization of my novel, "Killing the Red God". | Copyright: Hari Kumar | website: | If this is your first visit, please start from the bottom (start of Chapter 1)

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Location: Singapore, Singapore

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Chapter 2 -- Part 6

Author's Note:
For reading the first chapter, you may download it in Acrobat PDF format from here (Click here!)
If you like my writing, please help me popularise my blog--please recommend it to your friends.

Now for the latest instalment....

Sex with Nisha Version 2 was by the calendar. Once every month, two days after her periods. She opens her legs; I go in-out, in-out while she talks about her plans, office gossip, general bitch-talk.
I am not allowed to touch her breasts, her lips, her buttocks since she read somewhere that too much touching during sex will make them sag like over-ripe mangoes.
I come into a wide-mouthed glass bottle kept by the bedside. She could never stand condoms although that would have been more convenient for me — I had more than once grabbed the timepiece in my frantic groping-in-the-dark and come all over it’s innocent time-telling face — since she had this strange notion that rubber could be carcinogenic (“you want me to die of cervical cancer, do you, man?”).
While I go to the bathroom to clean-up, she carefully takes my deposit and adds measured quantities of aloe vera oil, a dash of turmeric powder, five drops of tea tree oil, three tablespoons of cucumber juice and a few other herbal extracts as if she were a seasoned chemist. She mixes them to a paste and that’s her one-month’s supply of beauty cream — ‘Oil of Dilay,’ as I called it — the secret of her youthful skin.
She keeps this mixture in the fridge and every night, two hours before bedtime she would take a teaspoonful of the cream and keep it outside to warm up to room temperature. Then just before going to bed she would wash her face thoroughly with a deep skin cleanser and then apply this sperm cream on her face and neck evenly in a thin layer. Seeing her sticky face is enough to make me sleep in the guest room. But I don’t tell her that — I blame it on ‘gas’ (thankfully, she is not too fond of sleeping with flatulent men; but looking back, I guess she knew that I was faking it and she couldn’t care less any way; she got what she wanted) and quietly retire to the adjoining room.

It’s been more than six years since she’s been using this semen paste, and the effects, I must admit, are nothing short of miraculous. Her constant source of worry was her skin; it’s chapped, lifeless look always haunted her. “The first thing one sees in a person is her skin, not her eyes, not her hair, not her tits” she would say looking woefully into the mirror. She had tried everything, Vicco Turmeric from Mustafa, skin tonics, Fancl creams, expensive oxygen treatments, skin tone therapies, Ginvera hydrating masks etc. Nothing seemed to work.

Then in some obscure book, she read about the cosmetic benefits of semen. The first month of using this potion itself created such a drastic and noticeable change in her appearance that the aged Chinese man, who lives with his wife in the next-door apartment and whom I usually meet in the lift during my seven o clock rush remarked, “You got new wife, ah?” When I shook my head, he looked at me suspiciously and said, “She look one kind, meh. Vely…vely…” he was struggling for the right word, and then he turned to his wife and said something in Hokkien. “Bootiful,” she said, as her eyes brightened up. “Hah! Bootiful bootiful,” he said grinning. “Not new wife, laah” I replied, “Recycled, mah.”
“Lee…cycle, Haah?” he asked.
I nodded.
Then he pointed to his wife and said, “Can lecycle, haah?”
I looked at the old woman and then at the bent old man, who I guessed, must have been in his seventies. I imagined the lady’s face plastered with the man’s cosmetic juices. She would need a triple dosage applied every couple of hours, I reckoned. For the man’s sake, I said, “Beyond recycle.” The lift reached the ground floor.
“Haanh?” the old man asked, his hand behind his ears.
“Bey-ond recycle,” I repeated as I stepped out of the lift, “Bey-ond”
“Buy one lecycle, Haah?” his eyebrows raised, his forefinger pointing to the ceiling.
I nodded, just to get rid of them; I didn’t have the time for any lengthy discussion. “Bye,” I said. I saw them nod their head to each other. “Bye,” the old man said, “I bye one lecycle…Xie xie ni,” he clenched both his fists together and shook it as a gesture of thanks. I waved at them and rushed towards the car park.
Within the week, I saw the old lady puffing away on a gleaming new exercise bike outside their apartment. I smiled at her as the man came to the door. “Lecycle,” the man said proudly pointing to the bike and giving it a thumbs-up, “Vely good”.
Nisha was overjoyed at the results. She once even broached the idea of starting a business. But seeing the flaccid look in my face (“I am not cocksure that that business would succeed, dear. Besides the raw materials are limited.” I had replied with intended pun) she decided not to pursue it with me.

(To be continued...)


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